LATEST STUFF
NEW MUSICMaster Frequency Dub (On the case)
NEW ALBUM
Still shots from a forthcoming music video for Warm Hands by the house band.
NEW VIDEO
Some still images from the forthcoming video "Dear Bradley"
NEW MUSIC NEW TRACK NEW TRACK JINGLE ALL THE BLOOMIN WAY
Come on everybody, if we're going to be jingling our bells, it's no good jingling just half of the way, or even most of the way. No, we've really got to jingle all the way. Who's with me?
A GUILTY SECRETI have a confession to make, a guilty secret to admit to. I have partaken of a very particular pleasure for most of my adult life. An excitingly illicit, yet exquisitely executed endeavour.
I don't quite know how to say this. It's not easy, I've kept it secret for so long, but now I feel I need to be honest with you.
I smuggle books into libraries.There, I've admitted it.
I know it's a bit weird, but I do a proper job. Not only do I make sure that the book is correctly classified and placed on the shelf, I also make sure that it has a full plastic jacket and proper documentation inside the cover.
Why? Well, I'm a big fan of libraries, but some of the smaller village libraries in my local area are not really up to the job of supplying the needs of the thrusting young men and women of the area. The science section in some libraries is quite frankly inadequate.
So I've made it my business to rectify that situation. In fact I've been so successful that most of the libraries in the surrounding area have had to build extra shelves to accommodate the unexpected and unexplained influx.
Of course, you might wonder why I smuggle the books in, instead of just openly donating them. It's a fair question, but it's really much more fun to do it secretly, or by subterfuge. It's quite exciting to think that nobody else knows what you're doing,
Moreover, in certain libraries I could mention, the head librarian will be apoplectic with rage at the idea of unclassified, rogue books within their library. This pleases me, and adds a certain frisson to the whole game.
Hey, don't mock it until you've tried it. I dare you!
Start off small, take a book you've borrowed from the library, but instead of returning it in the proper manner, walk past the counter, with the book hidden about your person. Librarians can be quite strict, so make sure you don't show any sign of weakness or shifty qualities.
Now, your heart rate increased, just a little bit, didn't it? Just there as you walked past the returns counter, trying not to look suspicious. You realised how stupid you'd feel if you were caught by a librarian, smuggling books into a library. They wouldn't understand, they wouldn't get it all, quite frankly, they would look down on you in a most unpleasant way.
So now you have incorrectly returned the book, you need to get out quick before you're caught.
Run like the wind. Yeeeehaaaa.
Oh, wait. That book you left on the shelf at the library. You need to go and get it back, sorry, I forgot to mention that. You need to get the book and walk back out of the library, otherwise you'll be charged for the overdue book.
So anyway, you've now felt the thrill of smuggling a book into a library, but that was just an ordinary library book. Now you'll want to take it to the next stage and really make a difference, by adding your own choice of content, be it romantic fiction, gardening or car mechanics. This takes things to a whole new level. We're now talking about illicit and uncategorised content. You're going to get a proper telling off if you get caught now,
But just think of the happy face of some unsuspecting youngster who might pick out your book, whether by accident or instinct. It could change their lives forever. The knowledge contained within that book might catapult them to a rewarding and enriched life.
Also, just think of the grumpiest, strictest librarian you've ever met, and be happy that you messed up their system, just a little bit.
Beware though, smuggling books into libraries is a secretive and lonely pastime. You should never speak of it, and I only do so here because I have reached such an age where it's important to get things off one's chest.
I do hope you understand.
Reggie xxx
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